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Tolstoy’s diaries: a beautiful (and humorous) struggle.

Tolstoy’s diaries: a beautiful (and humorous) struggle.
15 January 2025

Tolstoy’s diaries are a valuable source for anyone seeking to better understand the sweeping humanity which distinguishes his novels; that irresistible sense that one is looking in on the lives of people who exist in a parallel realm to our own, who harbour fears and divine aspirations with all the irresoluteness and irrationality that characterises our own decision-making. The diaries are also very funny, and will it serve as a great comfort to many of us to read that Tolstoy suffered the same pangs of guilt, remorse, anxiety and hope as we do. Nikolai Gusev, Tolstoy’s former secretary, writing in an afterword to the only complete English translation of Tolstoy’s 1847-1852 diaries (see the link below), summarises the character of the diaries in this way;

“After noting down briefly how he had spent the day, he continues to write down in his Diary… the thoughts, sentiments, and actions of the day with which he was dissatisfied. While thus continuing to work at himself Tolstoy was, at the same time, reflecting more profoundly and seriously on the most important questions of human life, at the solution of which the wisest men of all times and all nations have worked, such as : questions of God, of immortality, of good and evil. The thoughts on these questions noted down in the Diary, at which he had evidently arrived through his own effort, are especially remarkable, in that many of them correspond fully to his later religious conception of life…”

Друзья. in this post I want to share with you some of my favourite entries from Tolstoy’s diaries (so far).

 

Ilya Repin. Portrait of Leo Tolstoy (1887).

 

On human history

Tolstoy is a constant presence in our classroom, and his name seems to appear in every Russian language textbook. Many students at Liden & Denz have read him in translation, and his ideas often arise in discussion. The ‘dryer’ elements of War and Peace- his commentary on the mechanics of history, for example- are often overlooked and for good reason, since it is the movement and despair of his characters which captures many of us, on occasion perhaps even encouraging us to skip a few pages of historiography. There is, nonetheless, a symmetry between his commentaries on people and history since he believes that the later is fundamentally a conglomerate of the former, absent the (independent) ’laws’ which historians of his era sought to ‘uncover.’ Towards the end of War and Peace, for example, he writes,

“(A) chief source of our error (is)  the fact that in the historical accounts a whole series of innumerable, diverse, and petty events, such for instance as all those which led the French armies to Russia, is generalized into one event in accord with the result produced by that series of events, and corresponding with this generalisation the whole series of commands is also generalized into a single expression of will. We say that Napoleon wished to invade Russia and invaded it. In reality in all Napoleon’s activity we never find anything resembling an expression of that wish, but find a series of orders, or expressions of his will, very variously and indefinitely directed.”

And how close this understanding of human action is to the way in which Tolstoy reflects on his own conduct; it’s randomness, the degree to which he is overwhelmed by forces stronger and more unknowable than his own will. One series of entries demonstrates this particularly well;

“…I was yearning for something lofty and good…. Yes, that was the emotion I experienced last night. It was love for God, but love lofty, and combining all that is good, and renouncing what is bad.” (June 11th, 1851)

Then, a few entries later:

“Several times when the officers have been talking of cards I have wanted to show them that I too could play; yet always I have refrained. I hope that, even if they should begin to importune me, I shall decline.” (June 13th, 1851)

Which is immediately followed by this explanation for three week’s silence:

“(I) have wholly wasted the subsequent interval for the reason that on the same day I was so carried away that I lost at cards 200 roubles of my own money, 150 of Nikolinka’s, and got into debt for 500—total 850. However, I am keeping myself in hand, and living prudently, except that I have ridden over to Chervlenaya, and got drunk there. This is bad, and troubling me very much. Indeed, never have I spent more than two months well, or in such fashion that I could rest self-satisfied.” (July 3rd, 1851)

 

The humour

Some of the more humorous entries I’ve come across:

“1) Was lying around. 2) Lost heart. 3) Got angry – hit the cat and 4) forgot about the rules altogether. 5) Was telling fortunes.” (January 10, 1854).

“Woke up at 6 o’clock, woke everyone up; but from laziness I did not get up and slept until 9.” (March 31, 1852).

“And right now I think with pleasure about the saddle I have ordered, which I will ride in Cherkessk, and how I will drag myself after the Cossack women, and despair that my left moustache is worse than the right, and I spend two hours straightening it in front of the mirror.” (June 2, 1851).

“Early. Tried not to smoke. I’m moving around. Still, it’s good to witness your own wretchedness.” (May 12, 1884).

 

The struggle

What above all seems to characterise Tolstoy’s diaries- indeed it is the purpose for which they were brought into existence- is a sincere desire for self-betterment, and, as Nikolai Gusev above noted, for truth. The section which I am currently reading- descriptions punctuated by lists of sin- perhaps illustrates this best; 

March 30th—Rose at 7, and, until 10, did writing in sorry fashion. At 10 attended requiem mass. In church bore myself awkwardly. Vanity. At 4, on the Tverskoy Boulevard, omitted to salute Orlov. Diffidence. A ride in the country. Dined, read, and went early to bed for the reason that I had overeaten myself and lack stamina.
Rise at 6; until 1 read; from1 to 4, walk, and do gymnastics ; from 4 to 6, dine ; from 6 to 10, write.
March 31st.—Read, but did not write up this diary. Read later until 12. From 12 to 2, conversed with Begichev too frankly—showed vanity and self-delusion ; from 2 to 4 did gymnastics—want of courage and of patience; from 4 to 6, dined and made some necessary purchases. At home did no writing- sloth. Could not for long decide to visit the Volkonskys. Having arrived, spoke feebly. Shyness. Bore myself badly. Shyness, vanity, want of thought, weakness, sloth.

 

The beauty

“If I were told,” Tolstoy writes in a letter to a friend, “that I could write a novel in which I could indisputably establish as true my point of view on all social questions, I would not dedicate two hours to such a work. But if I were told that what I wrote would be read twenty years from now by those who are children today, and that they would weep and laugh over it and fall in love with the life in it, then I would dedicate all my existence and all my powers to it.” 

Tolstoy’s diaries are a wonderful insight into how his life, whether by accident, by an exercise of will, or through a mystical combination of the two, brought about novels with precisely this character.

Друзья, you can find a section of Tolstoy’s Diary (the English translation) by following this link;

https://dn790003.ca.archive.org/0/items/diariesofleotols00tols/diariesofleotols00tols.pdf

До завтра!

Laef, currently studying Russian at Liden & Denz Riga

 

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